


Tongue-Tied

by paraisnormal



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: Bisexual Erin Gilbert, F/F, Holtz Is An Idiot, Holtz has a golden oldies playlist, I Tried, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Neurodiversity, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-08
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-16 09:00:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10568016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paraisnormal/pseuds/paraisnormal
Summary: [adj.] Speechless or confused in expression, as from shyness, embarrassment, or astonishment.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know science but if you do know science you'll probably notice I know nothing about science.
> 
> I tried. Poorly.

Erin Gilbert had had enough. For months she had endured it: the endless teasing, the winks, the flirting, the raunchy gyrating of hips- and she’d had enough of it. It was a Wednesday, the weather was surprisingly lovely, but Erin hadn’t even been able to enjoy it properly because her mind was too occupied.

God damn it Holtzmann, Erin thought to herself as she walked the five blocks to work that morning. Damn you and your cute face and those damn dimples and oh god, that brain. Almost angrily, she opened the doors that led to the firehouse. She sighed tiredly and trudged to the second floor, where another day of sheer torture was awaiting her.

As she was halfway up the stairs, Erin could already hear the infamous Golden Oldies playlist blasting. For some reason, it also included songs in a language even Holtzmann herself didn’t even speak- she simply liked the melody, she claimed.

Unsurprisingly, Holtzmann was always the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. Erin wasn’t sure if she ever even slept. The symptoms the mad scientist showed led the professor to believe that Holtzmann didn’t. 

Erin Gilbert tried to gather enough courage to open the lab doors. Once she had, she was immediately greeted by a pleasant sight: Holtzmann was dancing behind her desk, gyrating wildly to a song that can’t be gyrated to. It was a German song. She was really getting into the song.

“Verdammt ich lieb’ dich! Ich lieb’ dich nicht!” Holtzmann sings/shouts loudly, before turning around and spotting Erin. She points at her with the blowtorch in her hand and grins widely. She started moving her shoulders too, trying to get Erin to join in.

Erin ignored the woman's attempt to get her to join in. She was already inside her head every day and every night, anyways. She’d had enough of it. Erin Gilbert tiredly lowered herself into her ergonomically designed office chair and sighed heavily. .

Holtzmann immediate picked up on her colleague’s bad mood. She lowered the volume to the song that she had been singing along to.

“Everything a-okay, Gilbert?” Holtzmann asked. She had placed her blowtorch aside and directed all her attention toward the physicist. “Bad night?” she tried again when the woman didn’t reply.

Erin slowly opened her eyes, and found herself gazing directly into Holtzmann’s baby blues. “You could say that again,” she said with a grunt. She dropped her head onto her forearms, the move making her slump over her desk. This move meant that she missed the goofy grin that had spread across the blonde’s face.

“Everything a-okay, Gilbert? Bad night?” The engineer parroted. Holtzmann pouted when the subject of her affections apparently didn’t understand the joke. Realising something was definitely up with Erin, Holtzmann dropped the quirky act and approached her friend.

The problem here is that Holtzmann has absolutely no idea how to deal with the emotions of another human being; she can hardly cope with her own. She slowly walked over to the suffering physicist, took a deep breath, and placed her hand lightly on Erin’s shoulder. Another deep breath. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, almost robotically.

At the strange tone of Holtzmann’s voice, Erin looked up. “Are you okay?” she asked. The sharp tone of her voice made Holtzmann flinch away. “I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry, I just-” Erin cut herself off and just groaned, collapsing back onto her desk.

“I’m okay, Er-Bear,” said the blonde with a small voice while carefully patting Erin's shoulder. “What’s up with you?”

The physicist mumbled something into her arms, but Holtzmann couldn’t understand her. So, instead of replying, she just kept patting Erin’s shoulder, making affirmative noises every now and then as Erin vented to her.

Eventually, her friend lifted her head and looked up at Holtzmann expectantly. “So, what do you think?” Erin asked with a hint of nervousness in her voice.

Holtzmann dropped her hand off her shoulder and nervously fiddled with the clasp of her fingerless gloves. “Of what?” she mumbled, avoiding contact with Erin. She had clearly missed something important. She snuck a glance at the physicist, who was looking at her with an open mouth.

“Did you not-” Erin took a moment to compose herself. “Have you not heard a word of what I’ve just said?”

Her colleague and friend and crush and possible love of her life just stared at the ground and shook her head.

“For fuck’s sake, Holtz!” Erin shouts randomly. Holtzmann cringes and flinches at the sudden noise. “Fuck! Shit! Bollocks! Christ! I mean, I’m sorry Holtz, but you’re driving me crazy!”

As soon as the words left her mouth, she realised she had said the wrong thing. The blonde engineer made herself as small as possible and covered her ears with her hands. 

“No no no no no, Holtz, sweetie, not like that, never like that. Please, don’t cry.” Erin knew not to touch her. It was at the same time the only thing she knew to do in a situation like this. She knelt down in front of her. 

“Holtzy, you’ve got to help me out here. I have no idea how I can help you,” she said carefully.

And Holtzmann broke down completely at the gentle tone of her voice, at the patience that Erin showed and the concerned look in her eyes. It had been a long time since someone had looked at her like that. The last person had been Abby, when she found her sitting in the rain just one block away from the Higgins Institute. She tried to wipe the tears from her cheeks, but too many tears were falling at once. She gave up and just stared at Erin’s face, her lip trembling. “Please,” said Holtzmann croakily. “Hug?”

Erin carefully pulled her into a hug. She made sure it wasn’t too tight or too overwhelming, but Holtzmann was having none of it. She wrapped herself up in Erin and allowed herself to be completely at Erin’s mercy. And Erin held her, carefully rocking her back and forth. She wiped her tears and whispered words that Holtzmann didn’t even hear and she slowly felt her heartbeat slow down and the lights slowly dimmed. She became increasingly aware of Erin’s arms around her and the smell of Johnson’s shampoo. Even though Holtzmann was calming down, she suddenly became very aware of the fact that the arms around her were Erin’s. She had to stop this before it became weird and would be ruined forever.

Holtzmann shakily took a deep breath. “Better. Thanks.” She quickly got up and sat next to Erin instead. She silently cursed at herself for being too weak to stay away completely.

Holtzmann wrapped her arms around her legs. “Sorry about that,” she said squeakily. She knew this day was going to come sometime soon. Stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid. Of course Erin couldn’t handle her.

Erin wrapped an arm around her and carefully turned her head, so Holtzmann could see there was no malice in the expression on her face. “No, I’m sorry. I’m awful at this. I don’t know...” Holtzmann smiled softly, though her lips trembled.

“You’re not mad at me?” she asked, just to be sure.

Erin giggled at her question, and Holtzmann frowned. “You really haven’t heard a word of what I’ve just said, have you?”

The blonde blushed and shook her head, confirming Erin’s suspicions.

“I just can’t handle it anymore,” said the physicist, now serious. “I mean, all the flirting and the teasing and the dancing.”

Holtzmann’s face falls.

Erin realised her mistake and groaned. “Ugh, I’m really going on about this the wrong way! I just… God, Holtzmann, I really like you and you’re not doing anything concrete to confirm whether you like me too or not and I just really I need to know now.” She took a deep breath. “Do you maybe want to go out? On a date? With... me?”

Instead of replying, Holtzmann’s face went completely black. She stared at Erin, slack-jawed. Erin was progressively getting more and more nervous as time ticked on. She waved her hand in front of Holtzmann’s face, but she was unresponsive. Erin nervously stood up and dusted herself off.

“Just, um, nevermind,” Erin mumbled. She hurried out of the room. Well, that was a complete disaster.

***

Thus Abby finds Erin slumped over the table in the kitchen half an hour later. “Morning Erin,” she says cheerily. Only when her friend doesn’t reply, Abby realises something is seriously wrong.

“Is everything okay? Wait, why aren’t you upstairs?” She pulls up the chair across from Erin, and sits down. “Come on, tell Auntie Abby what’s wrong.”

Erin groans and slowly lifts her head from her arms and shakes her head at Abby. “I think I messed up. Big time.”

Abby gasps. “Oh my God, you told Holtzmann!”

“I did.”

“What did she say?”

Erin frowns. “That’s the problem. Um, she said... nothing.”

Abby drops her smile and frowns too. “Nothing? At all?”

The brunette nods in confirmation. “Nothing at all. She just completely blanked.”

Her friend cringes. “Oh, that’s bad. Really bad. Holtz always has an answer for everything.”

“I know, which is why I think I royally fucked up. And you’re not really helping,” she adds in afterthought.

“Oh, quit being so dramatic! I know for a fact that Holtzmann is just as crazy about you as you are about her. Maybe she just needs some time to actually process the fact that she, for once, actually really likes someone and that person likes her too.” Abby pauses for a second. “That hasn’t ever happened before, I think.”

Erin frowns and shakes her head. “That’s impossible! I mean, she’s so cute and cheerful and she’s got these really cute dimples and her eyes are she’s just so-”

“-crazy. Some people find it a bit much to handle.”

Yes, Holtzmann is a bit crazy, thinks Erin, but that’s what I like about her. Abby falls silent, too, just for a moment, and she watches her friend fall in love all over again.

“I’m sure she’s crazy about you. She just needs some time,” Abby says confidently. Even though Erin still isn’t convinced, she nods. She could wait.

***

When Erin comes into work the next morning, nothing appears to have changed. The Golden Oldies playlist is blasting Stevie Wonder, the world is still spinning and Holtzmann is dancing as always.

“Good morning, Erin!” she greets happily as soon as Erin crosses the threshold. The engineer appears to be working on some sort of trap, and for once she appears well-rested.

“Morning,” Erin returns warily. Although she’s glad Holtzmann is still being herself, a feeling of dread settles in her stomach. They were going to pretend yesterday never happened, apparently. The physicist draws in a deep breath. You have an effing PhD, Erin. You can do casual. “What are you working on?” she decides to ask.

Holtzmann places her screwdriver on the workbench and seductively takes off her glasses. “Oh, you mean this puppy?” she asks, patting the metal box-like trap.

Erin sighs. “I told you before, I don’t feel comfortable with you-”

“-calling weapons puppies, I know.” Holtzmann rolls her eyes. “Look at that! We even finish each other’s…” She pauses a moment, allowing Erin to speak, but she refuses to participate. After a small pout, the engineer starts explaining her creation. “Anyhow, this is more like an actual puppy. Look, it’s got teeth!” she says, pointing out said teeth. The trap suddenly closes and almost traps her finger in the process, but the engineer is unphased. Holtzmann’s only response is to laugh maniacally.

Erin cringes and shakes her head. She starts searching through her notes scattered on and around her desk to see where she left off, hoping to distract herself with some work. Ah, of course. The Biot-Savart law: Abby and she are currently developing a theory concerning magnetic fields and how they affect apparitions. She is stopped from searching through the many papers when Holtzmann jumps onto her desk, sitting on some of Erin’s notes.

“Hey hot stuff, what are you working on?” she asks. Erin looks up at her face, which she probably shouldn’t have done: she almost chokes when she catches sight of the blonde’s infamous dimples. Instantly, the PhD-graduate becomes a big, bumbling mess.

Erin gathers as many papers as she can and shoves them all onto one, bip heap. “Um, well- Abby and I are, um, currently developing this theory?” She gives a nervous chuckle. “It’s a bit ridiculous, frankly.”

“Yeeeeees?” asks Holtzmann with a sparkle in her eyes. “Do tell me more.”

The physicist anxiously runs her finger through her fringe. “It’s about magnetic fields… and, ghosts.” Holtzmann looks questioningly at her, urging her to elaborate. “We’re looking for ways ghosts could possibly interfere with magnetic fields. It could help us find ghosts sooner. Or so we were thinking,” Erin adds hurriedly.

Holtzmann jumps off her desk. “Erin, that’s amazing! I’ve already got five… no, wait, six- seven ideas for machines that could detect a change in magnetic fields! One of them can be worn like a watch, so you’ll always be safe.”

The crazy scientist is already at her desk when Erin realises she’s still staring slack-jawed at the empty space where Holtzmann had been moment before. “Well, that’s, um, thoughtful of you.”

Instead of a reply, she gets a wink. Erin isn’t even bothered by it. She smiles to herself and thanks the heavens above that there’s no awkward atmosphere. It’s just as it used to be.  
***

“Erin!” Patty shouts as soon as aforementioned physicist comes downstairs for lunch a couple of hours later. The historian immediately closes the book she was reading reading and makes her way over to the kitchen area.

“Um, hi?”

Patty playfully punches her shoulder and leans on the counter as Erin gathers supplies to make hers and Holtzy’s sandwiches. “Man, I heard the craziest shit the other day! You confessed your feelings to Dr Frank-N-Furter up there?”

Erin can’t help the flush that spreads across her face. “Yes, I did,” she says briskly.

Her colleague grins knowingly. “Hear that noise? It’s the sound of wedding bells, baby! When y’all getting married? Spring?”

Before Erin can contradict her statement, Patty continues on.

“Ha! I told Abby months ago that y’all’d get it on soon. Abby! You owe me, bitch!” Patty shouts, and then she leaves the kitchen to go find Abby.

“Wait, Patty! It’s not like that!” But Patty can’t hear her over her own humming of the Wedding March. Erin just shakes her head. She’ll explain later. She can’t even bear to think about yesterday.

Instead, she focuses on spreading a thin layer of mayo across Holtz’s sandwich. She always wants them done the same way: a thin layer of mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, cheese, ham, and then the other slice of bread, which also has to be covered with a thin layer of mayo. The first time Holtzmann requested the sandwich, Erin had been surprised by the normalcy of it. To be honest, she had expected an atrocious combination of pickles and sauerkraut or something.

Soon after, she makes her way upstairs, carefully balancing two glasses of milk and two plates on her tray. She delivers Holtz her sandwiches and her glass. In return, she receives two dimples and a wink. “Thanks, hot stuff. Hey, would you mind checking these calculations later?”

Erin sits down at her desk. “Anything for you.” She pauses a beat and then realises what she’s just said. For god’s sake, she promised herself to be casual. Going to the end of the earth for someone definitely isn’t casual. “I mean, sure.”

Holtzmann, for her part, just giggles and bites into her sandwich. She throws her legs onto her workbench, accidentally gently hitting her ‘puppy’ in the process. “Perfect, as always, Gilbert,” she says with a very professional voice.

“Thanks. I’m glad you like my sandwiches.”

In reply, Holtzmann grins for a moment. Then she drops her legs, and turns serious. “So, how are you feeling about tonight?”

Tonight. What’s tonight? Erin realises with a startle that today’s a Thursday. The Ghostbusters often spend their Thursday night in a bar a couple of blocks away. “Oh, I’m feeling quite alright, I suppose.” When Holtzmann keeps looking at her, clearly waiting for more than just that, she quickly adds that she’s feeling excited as well.

“Great!” replies Holtzmann with a cheesy grin. “So, I’ve been thinking about what you said yesterday-”

She stops talking when the puppy starts smoking. “Whoopsie daisies. Better go fix that.” Holtzmann drops her sandwich and pulls her glasses down over her face. The ‘puppy’ catches fire. The engineer laughs. “Oh, you’re a feisty lil’ thang,” she says in a weird voice and then she gets to work.

Erin’s stomach is filled with dread. “Um, I’ve got to go,” she says and hurries downstairs, straight to Abby’s desk. “She says she wanted to talk about what I said yesterday!”

“And what did she say?” Abby asks, adjusting her glasses and looking up from her papers.

“Well, nothing! The puppy caught fire! And then I fled,” Erin explains, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Abby frowns. “What puppy? You spend way too much time with our resident mad scientist and you're picking up on her vernacular. Ridiculous, calling machines puppies!”

“The puppy is unimportant!” Erin shouts. She then composes herself. “You know what, it’s really going to bother me if I don’t explain it. So, the machine is an actual puppy, it had teeth and paws and honestly, I don’t even want to know what it was for,” she adds hastily.

“What would we use a puppy for? Could it do anything special?” Abby asks.

“I don’t know.”

“What did it look like? Was it made out of metal or-”

“Abby!” Erin exclaims in frustration. “You’re, you know, kind of missing the point here. Big time.”

“Um, yes, of course. Um… Did she extinguish the fire?” Abby asks carefully.

Erin groans and dramatically covers her face with her hands. “She said she wanted to talk about my confession, Abby!”

“Oh,” Abby says sympathetically. “Wait, oh. That’s not good, is it?”

“I thought we were going to pretend it never happened!” Erin says, pacing back and forth. “What am I going to do? I’m going to have to move to Canada and change my identity, aren’t I?” She stops pacing and groans.

Her friend offers no emotional support. She rolls her eyes and polishes her glasses. “You’re so dramatic, Erin. What’s the worst that could happen? Realistically.”

Erin drops her hands annoyedly. “Are you serious?” Abby shrugs. “Oh my god, you are! Abby, this is devastating!” The physicist resumes her frantic pacing. “Holtzmann could tell me she doesn’t want to work with me anymore. Or she could quit and move to Canada and I’ll never see her again. Or she could become upset and do something wrong and set the lab on fire. Or the firehouse. Or the planet. Or worse, herself!”

Abby, however, remains unimpressed. “Aside from your odd priorities I still think you’re being rather dramatic, Erin. Just talk to her, please. I won’t allow you to throw this away just because of a stupid miscommunication!”

“It wasn’t a ‘miscommunication’! She didn’t say anything,” Erin says petulantly. She crosses her arms. “I just wish I knew what she was thinking.”

Abby sighs. “Then talk to her.”

“Okay, let me rephrase that. I wish I knew what she was thinking without talking to her.”

Their conversation is interrupted by the sound of heavy boots rushing down the stairs. Of course it’s Holtzmann. 

“My dudes,” she says officially. “D’you mind if I left a bit earlier than usual today?”

“Baby, don’t pretend like you actually leave this place,” shouts Patty from the other room. Seconds later, she joins her fellow ghostbusters. “We all know it,” she amends half-heartedly upon seeing Erin’s and Abby’s worried faces.

“Sure thing, Holtz,” Abby says carefully. “What for?”

Holtz actually blushes and she looks down at the ground, nervously scratching the back of her head. “Um, I’ve got a date, actually.” She gives Abby a small smile.

Erin hears the words echo through her mind. A date. Holtz has a date. With someone who’s not me. The day after I asked her out. That’s about as clear as rejections come.

“A date?” Abby repeats incredulously. “Well, have fun, I suppose.” She secretly grabs Erin’s hand and gives it a squeeze. The brunette turns to her bespectacled friend and gives a small smile, appreciating her efforts.

“I’m sure I will,” Holtzmann says, a rosy colour decorating her cheeks. She winks at Erin and promptly turns around, bounding up the stairs. The stomping continues on, and they only know she has reached her lab when Never Too Much starts playing loudly.

Abby wraps her arms around Erin as the latter buries her head in Abby’s shoulder. Abby doesn’t know what to say. Erin assures her she doesn’t have to say anything.

***  
Holtzmann has been in a fantastic mood all day. Erin hasn’t even heard a small poof today. She must be really excited about her date tonight, she thinks bitterly.

Erin, on the contrary, has not at all been productive today. She has been stuck on the same equation since 10am this morning, and said equation was crucial to elaborating on her theory about electromagnetic fields.

“Loosen up, Gilbert,” Holtzmann says, shimmying to Footloose. Erin rolls her eyes.

“Great pun,” she mutters sarcastically, and she bends back over her work. 

Her colleague pauses the music. “Y’know, I hadn’t even realised!” she comments quirkily. Holtzmann shakes her head to herself, and skips a couple of songs ahead, hoping to find one Erin does actually enjoy. She can’t help but gasp loudly when she finds the perfect song to get Gilbert moving.

“Well, I remember every little thing as if it happened only yesterday,” Holtzmann sings along loudly as she turns up the volume. She looks up at Erin’s desk expectantly, but the brunette has run off again. It’s the third time it happened that day, she notes. The engineer shrugs and dances to Paradise By the Dashboard Light alone.

Meanwhile, downstairs, Erin is bemoaning her fate to Patty. “But why does she have to dance!” she complains.

“Erin baby, you know I love you, but I really don’t want to know all your dirty lil’ secrets” Patty says rolling her eyes. 

Behind Patty, Kevin visibly perks up. “I ate worm once,” he states.

Erin frowns at him and even Patty bothers to turn around to give him an odd look.

“I wanted to know what it takes like,” he explains. “Because I remembered it tastes like earth.”

The two women look at each other and then back at the secretary.

“We’re talking about dirty secrets, right? I never told anyone I ate that worm. And it was dirty.”

Patty scrunches her face. “Kev, baby, when did you eat that worm?” she asks worriedly.

Kev pauses a moment to think. “I think it was last week.”

“Sweet Jesus.” Patty turns back around and places her book on her desk. She then sighs and tiredly massages her temples. “Listen, I’m sure Holtzy’s into you.”

“Then why is she going on a date with someone else!” Erin shouts out in frustration. She immediately relents. “I’m sorry,” she adds, and buries her face in her hands.

Patty is spared from giving her an answer when Holtzmann, once again, comes bounding down the stairs. “I’m heading out,” she shouts, not even bothering to stop by Abby’s and Patty’s ‘office’.

The sound of the doors to the firehouse falling shut echo throughout the building.

“Bye Colman!” Kevin shouts. 

Patty turns around. “I can’t let this go on any longer, Kev, I’m sorry. It’s Holtzmann.”

“I thought you were Patty?” he asks, genuinely confused.

Luckily for Kevin, Abby comes strolling in from the kitchen. “How’s the email coming along?” she asks him. 

Kev beams at her. “Great! I just posted it.”

Abby laughs good-naturedly. “I think you mean sent,” she corrects with a smile. She sits down at her own desk.

The secretary laughs too. “Is that what we call it nowadays?” his laughter sounds slightly high-pitched, as always when he learns something he hadn’t known before.

The brunette stops laughing and turns serious. “Kevin.” He looks uncomfortably at her. “What. Did. You. Do. To. The. Email?”

“I posted it,” he says happily.

“How?” Patty interrupts. “Just. How?”

“Well, first I printed it-”

Abby doesn’t even let him finish the sentence.

***  
In order to distract her mind from all thoughts of Holtzmann going on a date with someone else, she decides to throw herself into her work. In just forty minutes, she’s done more than the rest of the day added together. As soon as she takes a break, though, the realisation that Holtzmann is going on a date with someone else hits her harder than before.

It's so unlike her, Erin thinks, to actively hurt someone's feelings. She sometimes does so unintentionally, accidentally letting an odd joke slip, but this is a whole new level: she knows Erin likes her, yet she rubs in the fact that she's going on a date with someone decidedly not-Erin.

Erin suddenly realises how quiet it is without Holtz in the lab. Normally, there would be music playing and medium poofs every now and then. All that can be heard now is the soft whirring of the containment unit. She hadn't even noticed how accustomed she had become to the eccentric blonde engineer.

“Hey there, are you okay?” Abby asks, poking her head around the corner.

“Yes. Of course. It's just awfully silent without… Holtz.” 

Abby nods sympathetically. “Listen, it’s like five o’clock, Patty and Kev have left… I don’t want you to go home alone. So, I was wondering… do you want to come to my place and have dinner together like the good old days?”

“Actually, I would love that.” 

If it is to prove that Erin can have fun without Holtz, nor she, nor Abby mentions it.

***

Just like the good old days, they order Chinese. Benny doesn't appear to be surprised when Abby opens the door to get the food.

“I made the Wonton soup just the way you like it,” he says happily just before Abby closes the door on him. Anxiously, Abby gets the plastic tub of soup out of the bag.

“How many times do I have to say this, Benny!? This is not an accurate wonton-to-broth ratio! It's ridiculous how hard it is for you to make a proper soup. I'm going to file a complaint against you one of these days!”

“Nooooo please don't! I need this job, I have three hungry mouths to feed at home,” Benny says desperately.

Abby immediately relents. “You have kids?”

Benny smiled dopily. “No, I have three pet fish. Please don't-”

But Abby does close the door on him.

 

Abby proves to be the exact company Erin needs. She easily breaks the tense atmosphere with a few light-hearted jokes, and they proceed to talk science for the next thirty minutes.

Erin realises how much she’s missed this, just casually hanging out. 

Out of the blue, Erin's phone starts ringing. She checks the caller ID.

“Abby! It's Holtz, what do I do?” Erin says panicky. Abby snatches the phone out of her hand and answers the call. Instead of speaking, she presses the phone to Erin's ear. She presses her own ear to the back of the phone, so she can hear what's going on.

“Um, hi… Erin? Are you there?”

“Hi. Yes. I'm here. Hi, Holtzmann,” Erin says breathlessly.

Holt lets out a breath of air in relief. “Hi Erin! So, um, I've got a pretty weird request.”

Abby pulls her ear off the back of her own and gives Erin a thumbs up. “This is great!” she mouths excitedly.

Erin, instead, giggles nervously. “W-what can I do for you,” she squeaks nervously. She silently curses herself for sounding so nervous. It's just her friend asking for a favour. It's not a big deal. But, she is asking Erin specifically.

“Um, well, icouldreallyusesomehelpgettingready?”

Erin's heart falls. “Oh, yes. Date. Tonight. Of course.”

Holtzmann chuckles nervously. “Sorry, it must be kind of weird for you to… do this.”

Erin takes a deep breath and makes a decision. She would take anything she could get from Holtzmann. And if tha was friendship right now, she would accept it. Holtz as a friend is always better than no Holtz.

“No, it's fine,” Erin says kindly. “It's great. I'll come over right away, I'll be there in twenty minutes.”

“Thank you so much Erin! I owe you,” Holtzmann titters before hanging up. And Erin knows that she's made the right decision.

***  
True to her word, Erin rings Holtzmann’s doorbell roughly twenty minutes later. Not even thirty second later, the door is opened by a freshly showered Holtzmann. Erin can hear the Golden Oldies playlist playing softly. 

“Hey there, come on in! Thank you so much for coming over,” says Holtzmann over her shoulder as she struts around her apartment. “Do you want a drink or anything? I’ve got beer, um, chocolate milk.”

Erin giggles slightly. “No thank you, I’m good,” she says. Holtzmann shrugs and pours herself a glass of chocolate milk, which she down in one go.

“Let’s get down to business. If you would follow me, m’lady. I would’ve asked Patty to help, but she’s got a date too tonight. With… whatshisname?” Holtzmann pauses in front of a door.

“Why have we stopped?”

“I’m just making sure I’m going to remember the first time I get you in my bedroom,” Holtzmann says with a wink.

Erin gulps and immediately turns her gaze to her shoes.

“Ah, Kyle,” Holtz shouts as they walk into the bedroom. “Patty’s on a date with Kyle. So, I couldn’t ask her.” She pauses in front of her closet. “I’m sorry for the weirdness of this all.”

Erin waves her off. “Please, I told you, it’s totally fine. I’d love to help you. And I… I really like hanging out with you.”

Holtzmann grins widely and blushes slightly. The redness on her cheeks could of course also be a remnant of her hot shower, but Erin likes to think that she’s caused it. “I really like hanging out with you too, Er-Bear.”

Erin almost believes it sounds like Holtzmann means something else, something deeper, but quickly brushes off the thought. She’s a friend, Erin scolds herself, and that’s not a way to think about friends.

“About the date,” Holtzmann begins awkwardly. “We’re going out for dinner and then bowling or a film afterwards, dependant on how much I eat. If I eat a lot, I get sleepy, so then I’d prefer bowling over a film.”

“So you’re going to need to wear something smart-casual, so you look both nice for dinner, and have the ability to move around freely.”

Holtzmann nods thoughtfully.

Erin sighs a little and opens Holtz’s closet. Holtz closes the doors as soon as Erin has opened them. “Erin, are you okay?”

The physicist bites her lip and considers telling the truth for a second. “Yeah, of course,” she replies with an airy chuckle. “This whole situation is just a bit weird.”

Something twinkles in Holtzmann’s eyes. “Of course it’s weird, what did you expect? It’s me.”

Although Erin realises she’s making a joke out of it to clear the tension, she senses there’s something else behind the comment. Almost as if- she quickly shakes the thought off. Almost as if they were a couple.

“I still feel about making you come over all the way...”

Erin waves her off. “It’s fine.” Holtzmann awkwardly looks away and nervously fiddles with her cuff. “Holtz. Look at me.” She does. “It really is fine. I don’t care. I just want to make sure you look amazing tonight. Well, even more amazing than usual. If possible.” Good God, Erin, what the hell are you doing? Abort abort abort abort-

To her surprise, Holtzmann blushes. “Thanks, Gilbert. Um, you’re pretty ama- pretty. You’re really pretty. You know that, right?” She gives a small smile. “So pretty,” she mumbles under her breath as she turns away. “Um, knock yourself out. I’m going to get myself another drink.” She leaves the room.

Erin takes a moment to compose herself before opening the closet once again. She looks at all the shorts and blouses and crop tops and pants and socks and it’s the messiest closet Erin has ever seen. She smiles softly. It’s so Holtz. 

She hears Holtzmann cluttering through her cabinets, singing along to the song that’s playing over the speakers. She rummages through the closet and pulls out various items. By the time Holtz has returned, Erin has found her three pairs of jeans, two pairs of socks and five blouses in different colours.

“I’m going to make sure you’re going to look your best self tonight, Holtz,” says Erin as she keeps rummaging through the closet. When she doesn’t hear a reply, she pulls herself out of the closet. Holtzmann is standing in the doorway, her cheeks flushed. Erin immediately flushes too - she had bent over, as most of Holtzmann’s clothes were lying on a heap at the bottom of her closet. That meant Holtz had a perfect view of-

Holtz awkwardly clears her throat. “So, hot stuff, have you found something yet?”

Erin shakes herself out of her stupor and gestures towards the bed, where she had laid out her findings.

“Oh, I can’t wear these,” she says, picking up the first pair of jeans. “They’re a bit big. I usually wear them as capri jeans.” Holtzmann takes a sip of her -what Erin assumes is- chocolate milk.  
“Yeah, I thought they were a bit big - still, it could work though.”

Holtzmann frowns. “Wouldn’t you rather I dress… nicely for this date?” Holtzmann asks.

Erin rolls her eyes. “No way. I want you to be your absolute, unapologetic self.” The way you’re around me, Erin thinks to herself. But she doesn’t say it.

Holtz beams.

***  
“Okay, hot stuff, are you ready for outfit number four?” Holtz asks. Erin is sitting on the sofa, Holtzmann is getting dressed in the bedroom.

‘Um, sure?”

“None of that! I need to be 100% certain. I think we have a winner!” exults Holtzmann excitedly.

Erin rolls her eyes. “You’ve said that about every outfit so far,” she says, but she’s smiling.

“Yeeeeees. But this time I’m really sure!”

That too, Erin wants to reply, but the words dry in her mouth when Holtzmann steps into the living room. 

“Welllll, what do we think?” Holtzmann asks, striking a pose.

The outfit in itself is nothing special - but it’s so typically Holtz, yet at the same it’s not. She’s wearing the jeans that are a couple of sizes to big. The bottom inch (perhaps two inches?) has been rolled up, showing off her pristine white socks. She’s wearing a white blouse underneath a black jumper, the collar peeking out over the jumper. Her ‘screw u’ necklace is dangling delicately between her collar. It’s perfect.

Erin smiles. “You look really nice, Holtz,” she says softly. It’s not her place to say, she realises with a pang in her chest. Holtz is going to show up on someone else’s doorstep in an hour or less and she’s going to open the door and she’s going to have to tell Holtz how pretty she looks. 

“Hey, Er-Bear, is everything okay?” Holtzmann is sitting next to her in five steps. Holtz’s arm wraps around her.

No matter how much Erin needs the physical contact, she pushes Holtzmann’s arm off her. “Fine,” she says shortly. She stands up. “I should go.”

Holtzmann jumps up. “Wait, why? Have I done something wrong? Did I say something?”

Erin shakes her head and shrugs on her coat. “I never should have come here in the first place,” she says.

The look Holtzmann gives her is full of grief and pain. Almost heartbroken. “No, Erin! That’s not true!”

Erin bites her lip, debates whether to say something, but doesn’t in the end. She makes her way to the door.

“You can’t leave like this,” Holtzmann says. “You can’t just-”

“Holtzmann,” Erin interrupts mercilessly, “We both know I have no reason to stay here. I’ll see you tomorrow. Enjoy your evening.”

“How!?” Holtzmann shouts out. “How can I enjoy my evening?”

Erin crosses her arms and feels a flush spread across her cheeks. “Well, don’t you have a date to go on?”

Holtzmann seems appalled. “Clearly not anymore,” she says coldly. 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

The engineer’s eyes widen and her mouth falls open in shock. “Oh my god.” She slowly stumbles backwards until her legs hit the sofa. She sits down. “Oh no,” whispers Holtz.

“What’s going on?” Erin asks, still annoyed.

Holtzmann slowly looks up from her shoes until her eyes gaze into Erin’s. “Erin. What exactly did you think you were doing here?”

“Helping you get ready for your stupid date,” Erin spits bitterly. “I’m sorry. I mean, um, helping you get ready for your date. Your completely normal date. I’m fine.”

But Holtzmann did not appear to be fine. She buries her face in her hands.

But Erin doesn’t really notice and keeps up the word vomit that’s coming out of her mouth. “Y’know, keeping things caj. That’s casual for casual. Because I’m very casual. I excel at casual. I mean, today, has been... great. Very casual. It’s who I am, casual. Now it sounds weird. Ca-su-al. Casual.” She awkwardly clears her throat and finally looks at Holtzmann, who appears grief-stricken. 

“But you weren’t supposed to act casual! Erin, I’ve been so, so stupid and you have every right to hate me-”

“I could never hate you, Holtzmann,” she interrupts.

Holtzmann chuckles nervously. “I think you just might after what I’m about to tell you… First and foremost, I want to say that I’m sorry. But I intend to make it up to you.”

“For Heaven’s sake! Get to the point, Holtz!”

“Well, Erin. I… sort of… in a way… may have forgotten to ask you out on a date yesterday,” Holtzmann confesses.

Erin’s mouth falls open in shock. “You… what?”

The blonde rubs the back of neck awkwardly. “Surprise?” she tries.

Instead of giving a verbal response, Erin lurches forward and grabs Holtzmann by the very same collar that she had been admiring earlier. Without further ado, she plants her lips upon Holtzmann’s.

They break away, but remain close to each other. “You were wrong,” whispers Erin with a smile on her face. “I still don’t hate you.”

***

Erin is drinking tea with Abby and discussing the progress of their theory when Holtzmann slides down the fireman’s pole.

“Girls, and guy,” Holtzmann says officially, even catching Kev’s attention. “I just want to say that I’m sorry for the big misunderstanding. And I want to announce that I will leave at five thirty today so I can take our beautiful, amazing, currently-blushing Erin Gilbert on a date!”

Abby and Patty cheer and Erin blushes even more. 

“Oh, is today your anniversary? Happy birthday!” says Kevin with a dopey grin. He opens his arms and is ready to hug Holtzmann, but Patty pulls him back.

“Kev, baby, not even half of those sentences made sense,” says Patty whilst shaking her head. Kevin nods and promptly returns to his desk.

“We shall be dining at Antonio’s, an Italian restaurant, and our dinner will be followed by disco bowling or some good ol’ Netflix & Chill,” announces Holtz.

Abby is about to cheer, but frowns when Holtz finishes her sentence. “Do you even know what that means?”

Holtzmann wraps an arm around Erin’s waist to pull her closer. “Trust me, Abby,” she says with a wink, “I know exactly what it means.”

“Ew!”

Erin rolls her eyes but presses quick kiss to her girlfriend’s cheek. She can’t quite imagine how this whole thing almost went so wrong.

It isn’t until two hours later, when they’re standing outside the restaurant, that Erin remembers how.

“You forgot to make reservations, didn’t you?” Erin asks.

“Yep,” is the only reply she gets and simultaneously the only reply she needs.

“Netflix & Chill?” she decides to asks.

Holtzmann is shocked. “Erin, I’ll have you know, I’m a lady.”

Erin rolls her eyes.

The engineer grins. “A lady who would want nothing more than to Netflix & Chill with you,” she adds, and Erin laughs. Holtzmann intertwines their fingers and leads Erin to her apartment. Who’d’ve thought? From miscommunication to copulation.

Score.


End file.
